Reason to sing

I love to sing. Sometimes i think it must be the influence from my mum. When she was pregnant with me, she just accepted Christ and was so in love with church song. She would come home with the old church song book and sing it together with my dad back at their rented room. Dad would play guitar to accompany her. Guess i must had taken free music lesson since i was in her womb. By the grace of God, i still love to sing now, although i dont really sing well, but the passion is in me.

When i went to secondary school around form 1, I joined school choir, and that's the starting of a nightmare. We were trained for the yearly inter school choir competition and the only aim is to secure the 1st place in competition continuously years over years. Training was tiring and demanding, and deep inside my little heart, all i ever wanted is just to sing it with all my heart. I tried my best, to feel the song and sing it out with all my facial expression. I thought that was good enough. However, there's once, where we were training for a sad song, and were taught to sing it with a frown face, full of expression. Wow... this is easy for me, i sang it with all my heart full of sorrow as well as it's shown on my face. Next thing i know, the conductor was pointing at me, asking me to stop smiling and i'm spoiling the song. My goodness, i was trying my very best and yet people is thinking that i was smiling and spoiling the song. I was sad, it's hard to please everyone; what people see on ur face, sometimes does not equals to the truth that's beneath one's heart. I shake off the bad feelings as time goes by, understanding that the fact, this is just a 'show' after all.

When i grew older, my friends started to invite me for Karaoke sessions. It was fun at first, with all the girls getting together to sing our favourite worldly songs. I only attend those KTV sessions on their birthdays, as it's not really that cheap per session. Once a while, i would initiate to sing with the girls, to release stress... untill a point of time, i begin to realize, there's no meaning of singing some sad love songs in a room just for self satisfaction. In fact, i do not feel satisfied at all.

I start to stop and think. What is the meaning of singing.

Who am i singing for?

Why am i made to sing?

Who bothers if i sing or i don't?

Who really look into my heart when i sing?

The only answer i get, is all about God. God made me and tuned my voice to be such, either i sound sweet or not so sweet (awful?), it's all from Him. And I'm made to sing for Him and praise His for His loving kindness. Many times, when i think i sounds really awful, singing in the shower or alone, amazingly... i can still feel God's presence as i praise Him with all my heart. He doesn't care whether i looked sorrow or happy enough by the look of my face, nor i sound great in perfect keys, He simply just look at my heart. It is so wonderful, knowing that God appreciates and loves to listen to our praises everyday. I've found my reason to sing.... that is to sing thy praises to worship thee forever and ever

Psalms 9:1 - 2

1 I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. 2 I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.